Thank you for taking the time to explore the insightful research and opinion pieces we’ve gathered on the social challenges of motherhood. At mollybloom.com, our aim is to present information in a balanced, objective, and informative manner. As a result, the article below is deliberately formatted in a third-party style to provide you with the most informative reading experience.
Navigating motherhood is an incredible yet challenging journey, filled with a mix of joy and obstacles – especially when navigating the opinions of others. It’s common for moms to feel the weight of judgment from others, making it hard to stay true to their unique parenting style and raise their children as they intended.
In this piece, our focus is on empowering mothers like you to care less about external opinions and build their confidence. We’ll dive into the importance of setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and nurturing a strong bond with your child. By trusting their instincts and values, mothers can strengthen their emotional resilience and make choices that best fit their families instead of catering to outsiders. We hope this will act as a guide for moms like you towards achieving a more fulfilling parenting experience, free from the burden of others’ judgment.
Introduction: Embracing Your Unique Motherhood Journey
Motherhood is an incredible journey that begins long before a child lets out its first cry in the delivery room; it’s a path filled with unique experiences, challenges, and triumphs that shape both moms and their children. As you’ve embarked on this life-changing journey as a mother, you’ve likely often faced conflicting advice from outside sources and varying societal expectations. However, it’s incredibly important to recognize that every motherhood experience is just as unique as the individual undertaking it.
Focusing on one’s values and priorities in motherhood is therefore essential for mothers to maintain a healthy relationship with parenting. When moms truly understand their core values, it helps them set goals that really matter to them. This intentional, purposeful action empowers them to make choices aligned with their beliefs and dreams. It’s a great feeling to know that every day, moms have the chance to prioritize what’s most important to them and their families.
These values will serve as guiding principles that influence decision-making and goal-setting in parenting across day-to-day life; for instance, a mother who prioritizes trust, honesty, kindness, family, and safety will bring these values to her interactions with her kids and teach them to engage with the world in a similarly positive manner.
Research has shown that mothers who align their parenting approach with their personal values experience greater fulfillment and success in their roles as mothers, and subsequently, in their professional lives. Contrary to popular beliefs, studies have actually found a positive correlation between moms valuing work success and motherhood – meaning
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Some moms find attachment parenting, which focuses on being in tune with a baby’s cues, really resonates with them. Others prefer a more structured approach, valuing routine and discipline. The important thing is to trust your instincts and lead with love and compassion.
Let’s take a moment to recognize that motherhood is not just about giving birth. It’s about the journey that follows – the ups, the downs, the laughter, and the tears. These moments help shape us as mothers and strengthen our bond with our kids. At the end of the day, motherhood is defined by an indescribable love that carries us through the toughest moments.
Understanding the Impact of External Opinions
As a mom, it’s common to feel like you’re wading through a maze of societal expectations and unwanted advice. These outside influences can really affect your parenting journey, influencing your confidence, choices, and overall happiness.
The Weight of Societal Pressures
The moment a woman becomes pregnant, she is bombarded with sugar-coated images of motherhood through movies and social media that aren’t accurate to the realities of motherhood[5]. The myth of the seemingly “perfect mother” who effortlessly balances career, personal life, and family responsibilities while always appearing cheerful creates impossible standards most mothers simply can’t live up to [5]. :
In today’s world, many women feel torn between pursuing their career goals and being a dedicated mom, feelings that are only compounded by the loud voices on social media. Working moms might feel judged for not being with their kids all the time, while stay-at-home moms might feel the need to explain why they prioritize parenting over their career. The advent of social media has only intensified this pressure. Platforms intended to connect people have become breeding grounds for comparison and mom-shaming [5]. Mothers may feel inadequate when comparing their parenting styles, their children’s achievements, and their homes to those displayed on curated and edited social media profiles [5].
Unsolicited advice from family members, friends, and even strangers can also overwhelm mothers. While often well-intentioned, this constant influx of opinions—usually ones that weren’t asked for—can undermine a mother’s confidence in her own parenting choices and make her second-guess every move.
Molly Bloom’s Story: Navigating External Opinions
To illustrate the impact of external opinions, let’s consider Molly’s story. Despite just how common the experience of motherhood is, Molly has always viewed mothers as a marginalized societal group that’s systemically misrepresented and undervalued. As a result, most of the common advice and recommendations given to mothers don’t actually account for, and certainly don’t align, with many of the hardships mothers endure. And many of them, according to Molly, suffer in silence, not knowing they have another option.
Now, with the development of mollybloom.com, Molly aims to provide more well-documented, helpful, and ultimately relevant opinions, insights, and support to modern mothers like you.
Building Confidence in Your Parenting Choices
Here’s something to keep in mind: One of the best ways to feel confident in your parenting choices is to learn to trust yourself fully. This means listening to your intuition and being present in each decision; for example, when you encounter a situation that seems risky, like your child climbing a tree, it’s important to assess the real risks of the scenario at hand and trust your judgment.
Equally important to trusting yourself is trusting your child. You should get to know who your child is as an individual, create foundations to believe in their abilities, and not let your fears cloud their desire or ability to explore and grow. By maintaining a vision of your child succeeding at something that’s challenging, you empower them to push their boundaries safely and evolve as human beings.
Don’t forget, your parenting journey is uniquely yours and what others say or think about your choices isn’t as important as what feels right for your family [8]. We all tend to create stories and meanings around events in our lives; instead of letting these stories bring guilt or shame, utilize them to create some amazing bonding moments with your child.
Here’s some tips on how to trust yourself throughout the challenges of parenthood:
- Seek help when needed, but trust your instincts: It’s totally okay to ask for help, but always trust your gut. You’re the one who knows your family best.
- Take time to reflect: When you’re making big parenting decisions, gather all the info you need, ask for advice if you want it, and then take a moment to think about what feels right to you.
- Align decisions with your values: Always consider whether your choices match up with your family’s values. Don’t let other people’s opinions push you into decisions that don’t sit well with you.
- Be a role model of emotional literacy: Share your feelings with your kids and explain what’s behind them – within reason, of course. Show them that you have control over how you react to emotions.
- Acknowledge and validate your children’s emotions: Take your kids’ feelings seriously, even if they might not seem like a big deal to you. This really helps them process their emotions in a healthy way.
The Overwhelming Stressors Molly Had To Navigate Through To Come Into Her Own Healthy Self-Parenting Practice
Molly has often lamented that as a new mother, she felt that if she wasn’t present and vigilant all the time, her daughter may stop breathing at any moment. In the face of this intense fear (which was punctuated every time she had to step out into the work world and leave her ‘center of the universe’) she often felt lost between her internal mixed feelings and society’s expectations of all the different hats she had to wear.
Ultimately, things got so bad that the loneliness, guilt, and anxiety she had built up around her travel schedule and her caretaking responsibilities for Fiona essentially shut down her body.
The intense burnout and depression led to a total break where ultimately, Molly had to die and be reborn again. In this rebirth process, she started to intentionally designate more respect, space, self-care, and compassion into her parenting journey, which was the start of her recovery.
Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends
One of the first things Molly did in her inflection point reset was setting boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is all about taking ownership of our lives while also respecting others’ freedom [11]. These boundaries are like personal guardians, looking out for our emotional well-being and creating a much-needed sense of safety [12].
Strategies for Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
When it comes to setting boundaries in your relationships as a mother, it’s important to take some time to reflect on what’s been bothering you. Think about the situations that make you feel upset, frustrated, or guilty – these are usually signs that you need to establish some boundaries.
Once you’ve identified your needs, be sure to clearly communicate them to others. For example, if a family member is always calling during your work hours, you could gently let them know your preferred calling times. Remember to use “I” statements and express your needs without blaming others. It’s all about staying consistent and firm in enforcing your boundaries, even if others initially resist them.
And always keep in mind that you have the right to be treated with respect, prioritize your own needs, and make mistakes without harsh judgment. When you communicate your boundaries, emphasize how things will improve in your relationships instead of labeling someone as toxic. Lastly, if you need some extra support, don’t hesitate to confide in trusted friends, family members, or professionals for guidance and encouragement. You’ve got this!
By taking inspiration from Molly and trying out the tips above, moms like you can build stronger relationships with others’ perspectives, how people see you, and the expectations you deal with. This can help you focus on your own well-being and that of your children without feeling weighed down by external pressures or judgments.
Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-love. It’s not about being selfish but about creating a balanced life where you can be your best self for both you and your loved ones. As you get more comfortable with setting and maintaining boundaries, you’ll probably notice that your relationships improve, your stress levels go down, and you feel more ready to take on the challenges of motherhood.
Practicing Self-Compassion and Self-Care
As you continue to navigate the winding path that is motherhood, always keep in mind just how important self-compassion and self-care are for moms. These practices are vital in helping us navigate the ups and downs of parenting and keeping those outside opinions from getting to us. They really help us put our well-being first so we can show up for our kids in the best possible way.
Self-compassion means being kind to yourself, especially when times get tough. It’s all about acknowledging struggles without being overly hard on ourselves, which can help reduce anxiety and that unwanted feeling of being alone in this journey of motherhood.
And let’s not forget about self-care! Looking after our mental, physical, and emotional well-being can make a huge difference in how we handle the daily stresses of parenting. It’s not selfish at all; in fact, self-care is essential for us to be the best moms we can be.
Research shows that many moms struggle to take care of themselves, especially when they have little ones. But by making self-care a priority, we can catch any signs of mental health issues early on and get the support we need to continue succeeding in the long-term.
So, let’s remember that taking care of ourselves isn’t egocentric at all – it’s actually what helps us be the awesome moms our kids need us to be.
Conclusion
Embracing motherhood and valuing our unique paths is an amazing journey of self-discovery and empowerment. By setting boundaries, being kind to ourselves, and trusting our instincts, we can become more confident in our choices and prioritize what truly matters – our bond with our children. Molly’s story is a shining example that even in tough times, focusing on self-care and staying true to ourselves can make motherhood more fulfilling. Molly is all about empowering women and providing them with the support they need to thrive through challenges.
As we continue to grow as mothers, it’s important to remember that there’s no perfect way to parent. Ultimately, the journey of motherhood is about love, growth, and the incredible relationship between you as a mother and your child – regardless of societal expectations and external judgments.
References
[1] – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2855977/
[2] – https://medium.com/modern-women/priorities-and-values-as-a-mom-4fa40d46be91
[3] – https://www.fwordmag.com/single-post/the-journey-of-motherhood
[4] – https://www.raisingmamas.com.au/raising-mamas-blog/embracing-your-unique-journey-in-motherhood
[5] – https://medium.com/@ritikagrwal/the-pressure-of-society-on-mothers-navigating-the-expectations-and-striving-for-balance-67e6f3c2caee
[6] – https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-reason-behind-parents-giving-so-much-unsolicited-advice
[7] – https://kellehampton.com/2018/05/many-stories-motherhood-part-1/
[8] – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tools-life/202104/learning-trust-your-child-and-yourself
[9] – https://familytherapyllc.com/parenting-tip-trusting-yourself-and-asking-for-help/
[10] – https://bloomsburyeducation.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/emotional-literacy/
[11] – https://www.thepositivemom.com/how-to-set-clear-firm-healthy-boundaries-without-feeling-guilty
[12] – https://amotherfarfromhome.com/healthy-boundaries-motherhood/
[13] – https://www.veravelini.com/blog/how-to-finally-set-healthy-boundaries-with-your-parents
[14] – https://www.charliehealth.com/post/setting-boundaries-with-parents
[15] – https://www.instagram.com/boundariedbootcamp/?hl=en
[16] – https://centerformsc.org/self-compassion-empowers-new-mothers/
[17] – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10719642/
[18] – https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/mindfulness/why-self-care-is-important-for-mothers/
[19] – https://zenmommymap.newzenler.com/about-molly
[20] – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEaF_z0EIac