Thanks for reading mollybloom.com! We’ve gathered some helpful insights on how a new mom can find balance. We want to present this information in a digestible and informative way to be as helpful as possible to our readers facing the challenges of balancing their lives with rearing a child.
Motherhood is a fantastic journey that brings joy, difficulties, and a nonstop need for adaptation along with it. It may be tough to find balance in this whirlwind of responsibilities, but it’s incredibly important to do so for your and your child’s well-being.
This guide aims to give practical strategies to help moms like you balance their daily lives. We’ll cover topics like self-care, time management, setting realistic expectations, and more. By addressing these key areas, moms like you can learn to juggle their numerous roles more effectively, reduce stress, and create a harmonious family environment. We’ll also talk about the importance of mental health, fostering supportive relationships, and finding moments for personal growth amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood.
Ready to learn more about how to find balance as a mom? Let’s get started.
Understanding the Challenges of Modern Motherhood
Modern motherhood presents a new array of problems that can overwhelm even the most capable and disciplined women. From the moment a woman becomes pregnant, she faces a whole new world of societal expectations and pressures she must learn to handle as she begins raising her child.
Juggling Multiple Roles
Many moms today juggle work and family, trying to do it all. They’re expected to be great at their jobs and great parents at the same time, which can be very stressful and make many moms feel like they’re not doing a good job at either of the responsibilities. Working moms and stay-at-home moms both face their own distinct challenges and pressures that can make mothers feel like there’s no way to win when it comes to balancing work and family life.
Time management becomes a critical skill for mothers as they attempt to juggle their various responsibilities. However, even with great time management skills, many women find that there simply isn’t enough time in the day to do it all [2]. This can lead to mothers feeling like they’re constantly dropping the ball and like they’re failing in one area or another when they’re simply doing their best.
Societal Expectations
The pressure from society is a significant source of stress for many mothers, especially in the digital age[1]. Unfortunately, social media algorithms continually present women with a constant carousel of idealized images of motherhood, portraying the “perfect mother” as someone who flawlessly balances her career, personal life, and family responsibilities while always appearing flawless [1].
The rise of social media has made this pressure even more intense. Platforms for connecting people over distance have also become places where comparison and mom-shaming thrive [1]. It’s common for moms to feel like they’re not doing enough when they compare their parenting styles, their kids’ accomplishments, and their whereabouts to the seemingly infallible profiles on social media.
This mythical standard of being the “perfect mom” is not only completely unrealistic for mothers but altogether unattainable [1]. Still, many mothers find themselves subconsciously consumed by these expectations, causing them to feel inadequate or guilty when they inevitably fall short of their own expectations[3].
The Mental Load
It’s equally important to recognize and understand the mental load that mothers carry, a factor that’s often invisible to the naked eye. Mothers’ mental loads encompass various responsibilities, from keeping track of school schedules and managing household repairs to anticipating children’s needs and organizing appointments [4]. The mental load also includes emotional labor, which involves managing emotions, both one’s own and those of others. This may include consoling a crying child, diffusing family conflicts, or trying to make sure of everyone’s emotional well-being [4]. Despite these tasks supposedly coming naturally to mothers, they are often mentally and emotionally draining.
Adding to mothers’ mental burden is the phenomenon of “weaponized incompetence,” where other family members or society expect mothers to be the primary caretakers and decision-makers no matter how much they have going on [4]. This can lead to mothers feeling undervalued or taken for granted as they take on the responsibility of managing the household and child-rearing, while those around them claim not to be as capable in these areas. Considering that the mental load of motherhood often leads to one parent – typically the mother – becoming the default parent in child rearing, there may be resentment, overwhelming stress, and even marital problems resulting from this disproportionate balance of labor in the home [5].
With this in mind, mothers like you need to find ways to balance their duties and share responsibilities with partners to create the most harmonious home environment possible.
Defining Balance in Motherhood
What Balance Means
Finding balance in motherhood isn’t about turning into an infallible heroine but about carving out time and energy for what’s truly important in the present – your child’s wellbeing. To set yourself up for success, you must set realistic expectations and understand while recognizing that motherhood is a top priority; focusing on raising your child doesn’t mean letting yourself fall by the wayside either.
By reframing the definition of balance and setting achievable goals, mothers can find freedom from the pressure of unattainable standards. This approach allows you to have a more fulfilling and sustainable motherhood experience, where your personal well-being and family life can coexist harmoniously.
Setting Realistic Expectations and Priorities
As previously mentioned, setting realistic expectations is a nonnegotiable step in finding balance in motherhood. Embracing imperfection is essential, as it’s important to recognize that perfection is unattainable. Acknowledging that making mistakes is a natural part of the parenting learning process that can help mothers navigate tough times with resilience.
It’s also important to anticipate both good and bad days and give yourself some much-needed grace when it comes to scheduling, as parenting often requires more time than expected. Seeking support, making priorities based on personal values, and avoiding comparisons with other mothers are also all valuable strategies for finding balance you should try out.
Identifying Priorities and Setting Achievable Goals
As a new mother, Molly struggled to balance her various responsibilities.
From her experiences and what she found to be a good playbook for balancing work, social life, self-care, and child care, Molly recommends the following framework for a healthy work-life balance.
1. Understand where you’re at: As a new mother, Molly realized how important it was to focus on both her baby’s needs and her own recovery, a lesson thinks is valuable for all moms.
2. Follow your instincts: Molly recommends making sure that the choices you make as a mom are made because you feel it’s right, not because of what others say. Trusting your gut can help you make better decisions.
3. Take it one step at a time: Dealing with the challenges of being a mom can feel overwhelming. Try to focus on one thing at a time to help reduce that pressure.
4. Be flexible with your goals: Setting goals is great, but it’s okay to adjust them when needed. This can help reduce stress and take away the idea that you have to be a “perfect” mom.
By implementing these strategies, Molly believes that young moms will set more realistic expectations, relieve undue pressures, and prioritize their responsibilities more effectively.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Speaking of priorities – prioritizing self-care is a vital aspect of maintaining balance in motherhood. By focusing on their physical health, mental well-being, and personal interests, mothers can better manage parenting challenges while still successfully nurturing their identities.
Physical Health
Regular exercise plays a big role when it comes to a mother’s overall well-being. It not only serves as a stress outlet but also promotes feelings of empowerment and increases self-esteem [14]. Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, natural mood-boosting chemicals in the brain that help reduce anxiety, stress, and depression [14].
Exercise has numerous benefits that are especially helpful for mothers, like improved sleep quality, a reduction in feelings of anxiety and depression, increased energy levels and enhanced social interactions.
Likewise, studies show that pregnant women benefit from at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity per week [15]. This can include activities such as walking, swimming, or prenatal yoga[15]. By implementing some simple exercise routines into your schedule before your baby is born, you can also help set yourself up for success post-partum.
Mental Well-being
There are several insightful strategies that you can use to help improve your maternal mental well-being. Practicing mindfulness, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can reduce stress and anxiety.
Challenging negative thoughts by replacing them with more accurate, healthy, and compassionate ones is also important. Seeking support from other mothers or joining support groups can help provide you with a valuable outlet to share experiences and feelings.
Some mothers reported that creating a personalized wellness plan that included self-care activities and stress-management techniques was useful. Additionally, prioritizing sleep is essential for a mother’s mental health, so arranging for support from family members to help with the baby’s nighttime responsibilities can be a great help.
Hobbies and Interests
Pursuing personal interests and hobbies is another great way for mothers to practice self-care – it can allow you to maintain a sense of identity beyond motherhood and offer a creative outlet.
There are several ways to incorporate hobbies into a busy mom’s hectic schedule. First, it’s important to set aside dedicated time for engaging in personal interests, even if it’s just 15 minutes a day. It’s also beneficial to involve children in creative activities whenever possible, making this activity into a bonding experience.
Flexibility is key, so adapting hobbies to fit into the current lifestyle is always a smart choice. For example, if playing an instrument is challenging, you could try listening to music or attending virtual concerts instead. Additionally, embracing new interests that align with your current phase of life as a mother, such as joining mommy-and-me classes or starting a parenting blog, can be incredibly rewarding.
Effective Time Management Strategies
Setting Boundaries
As Molly often mentions, establishing boundaries is crucial for effective time management in motherhood. Boundaries define the parameters of relationships, ensuring respect and value for all parties involved—something that’s especially important as you focus on raising your child. [19]. Mothers create a sense of safety and comfort within their relationships by setting clear boundaries, which subsequently encourages open communication and healthy interactions [19].
To set effective boundaries, mothers should start by communicating with themselves, creating an internal dialogue about any issues they might be facing without holding back their thoughts, and deciding how to speak up on the topic at hand.
It’s also important for mothers to establish consequences for boundary violations for themselves and others. Remember, boundaries are only effective when they are enforced, so you should calmly and reasonably communicate the potential outcomes of someone crossing your established boundaries.
Molly further believes that given the role of motherhood is often minimized by contemporary society—just think of the time-old caricature of moms getting together to celebrate the joys of motherhood by sipping pinot grigios—it’s absolutely essential for moms to take up space for themselves to hold the proper space for their personal well-being, and by extension, that of their children.
Creating Routines
One great way to set boundaries and manage your time effectively is to establish daily routines, whether you’re a working or a stay-at-home mom[20]. Routines can provide a much-needed sense of purpose and accomplishment, especially during challenging times [20]. Plus, they can also benefit your children, who thrive on consistency and structure [20].
Creating effective routines requires building on what’s already working in your daily life as a mother and making small adjustments rather than trying to change everything completely. For mothers, focusing on routines for different parts of the day can be helpful. Morning routines set the tone for the rest of the day, while a well-planned daily schedule can make time for work and family commitments by using time-blocking techniques. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable mini routines can also be a good balance strategy.
Planning meals for your family and your baby in advance can alleviate maternal stress, so establishing a mealtime routine is important. Finally, an evening routine that prepares you and your family for the next day and likewise encourages winding down from the previous day can help mothers create a sense of structure and calmness.
Remember, productivity apps can be game-changers for modern mothers looking to maximize their efficiency and stay organized [21]. These easily accessible tools offer features to simplify tasks and help mothers make the most of limited time [21].
By implementing these time management strategies and utilizing productivity tools, you can better balance your responsibilities as a mother and find more time for yourself and your family.
Conclusion
Balancing motherhood isn’t easy, but it’s all about learning and growing along the way. Setting achievable goals, taking time for yourself, and managing your time wisely can make life smoother for you and your family. Throughout this guide, Molly has shared her experiences to help you see that it’s okay not to be perfect, to ask for help, and to keep up with your own interests while being a parent.
In the end, finding balance in motherhood looks different for everyone – it’s important to remember that there’s no one right way to do it. By focusing on your personal growth, nurturing relationships, and caring for yourself, you can handle the challenges of being a parent with more confidence and happiness. And remember, finding balance is an ongoing journey, so it’s okay to make changes and adapt as you go through your motherhood adventure.
References
[1] – https://www.headspace.com/articles/how-to-balance-being-mom-and-being-yourself
[2] – https://carolinacounselingservices.com/stopping-overwhelm-while-juggling-motherhood-and-work/
[3] – https://drregev.com/blog/the-myth-of-motherhood-the-way-unrealistic-social-expectations-of-mothers-shape-their-experience/
[4] – https://pensacola.momcollective.com/parenting-wisdom/the-invisible-mental-load-of-mothers/
[5] – https://momwell.com/blog/carrying-the-mental-load-how-to-redistribute-the-burden-and-give-moms-more-freedom
[6] – https://simpleonpurpose.ca/reframe-balance-motherhood/
[7] – https://www.dramberthornton.com/knowandgrowblog/redefiningbalanceinmotherhood
[8] – https://www.yourzenmama.com/new-blog/why-balancing-motherhood-is-a-myth-by-caressa-walker
[9] – https://mommytobeandbeyond.com/motherhood-and-purpose/
[10] – https://sunflowermotherhood.com/blogs/blog/setting-realistic-goals-and-expectations-as-a-new-mom
[11] – https://www.thebeautifuldeep.com/setting-realistic-expectations-for-motherhood/
[12] – https://powerofmoms.com/times-and-seasons-having-it-all-just-not-all-at-once/
[13] – https://mollyfletcher.com/the-mindset-shift-for-the-working-mom/
[14] – https://restoreintegrativemedical.com/ways-physical-health-improves-a-moms-mental-health/
[15] – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10107927/
[16] – https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/mental-health-welbeing-tips/
[17] – https://calmerry.com/blog/parenting/mental-health-tips-for-busy-moms/
[18] – https://portland.momcollective.com/diy-lifestyle/mom-hobbies/
[19] – https://embracingyoutherapy.com/healthy-and-authentic-ways-to-set-boundaries-with-your-mother/
[20] – https://simplepurposefulliving.com/create-routines/
[21] – https://www.thiscraftyhome.com/2024/04/04/productivity-apps-for-moms/
[22] – https://lakehousemom.com/productivity-apps-for-mompreneurs/
[23] – https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/mindfulness/why-self-care-is-important-for-mothers/
[24] – https://www.letstalkmommy.com/prioritizing-self-care-in-the-daily-grind-of-a-working-mom/
[25] – https://www.quora.com/How-can-mothers-integrate-self-care-into-their-daily-routine-to-enhance-their-overall-lifestyle
[26] – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEaF_z0EIac