Thanks for taking the time to check out our guide on the common issue of feeling overwhelmed in motherhood. At mollybloom.com, we’ve put together some helpful materials in a balanced and objective format to support moms dealing with these challenges.
Motherhood is often portrayed as a blissful experience – just look at our founder Molly’s allusions to the common stereotype of mom cliques sipping pinot grigios out by the pool. But despite these public portrayals, parenting can feel overwhelmingly challenging for many moms. The constant demands from newborn babies, sleepless nights, and endless responsibilities can leave mothers feeling drained and questioning their abilities.
So why does everything feel so overwhelming in motherhood? This question resonates with countless moms – and is likely one that resonates with your own personal experience – who struggle to balance their various roles while maintaining their sense of self.
With this guide, we aim to delve into the myriad of factors that contribute to the overwhelming experience of motherhood. For example, we will explore the signs of burnout, identify common sources of stress, and examine the impact of societal pressures on mothers like you, while also offering practical strategies to manage and reduce overwhelming feelings.
By understanding these common challenges and learning effective coping mechanisms to deal with overwhelming emotions, moms of all backgrounds can be better prepared to navigate the complexities of parenthood with greater confidence and resilience.
Introduction: The Overwhelming Reality of Motherhood
Feeling Overwhelmed: A Common Experience in Motherhood
As you may have seen for yourself, the default state for most mothers, – especially working moms – is ‘busy.’ There’s an enormous amount for mothers to accomplish in an average week, and when this busyness becomes unmanageable, it can quickly turn into feelings of being overwhelmed [1]. This idea of being unable to cope with the demands and responsibilities placed on their shoulders leaves mothers feeling like everything in their lives may unravel if they don’t keep up, and results in a range of unwanted emotions including impatience, anxiety, and even disinterest in parenting [1].
Many moms report facing significant stress trying to balance work, childcare, and household duties. A 2014 Care.com survey found that one in four working moms cry alone at least once a week due to the stressors of balancing work, child care, and household duties [2]. Not to mention, a study published in Frontiers in Psychology titled “Exhausted Parents” revealed that nearly 13% of mothers report experiencing “high burnout” [2].
The Importance of Understanding and Addressing Being Overwhelmed
Feeling overwhelmed as a parent can really take a toll on your mental and physical well-being, so it’s especially important to recognize and address these emotions as they can make it hard to enjoy special moments with your kids. The stress and anxiety from feeling overwhelmed can create a negative atmosphere for your whole family, which only compounds feelings of frustration and guilt.
It’s not just moms who feel overwhelmed – dads and husbands can also play a big role in supporting their partners. By recognizing the signs of being overwhelmed and offering support, everyone involved in the child’s life can work together in harmony to create a healthier and happier family environment. Acknowledging the challenges of parenthood and finding ways to manage overwhelming feelings can help you find balance and joy in parenting.
It’s essential for mothers to recognize the signs and symptoms of feeling overwhelmed in parenting so that they can address these challenges and seek the support they need. One common indicator is physical and mental fatigue – even after a full night’s sleep or a daily nap, burnout can cause persistent tiredness, making it difficult to juggle daily tasks and responsibilities both in and out of childcare.
Feeling inadequate is another sign of burnout. Many mothers may experience feelings of being a “bad mom” or not living up to their own expectations, which can lead to a sense of guilt and inadequacy despite giving it their all.
Emotional volatility, which can manifest as a short temper, extreme mood swings, or irritability, is also a common symptom of feeling overwhelmed in motherhood. Remember, it’s okay to feel frustrated sometimes, but if these feelings become frequent and overwhelming, it may be a sign that you need support.
Another sign to watch out for is emotional detachment. Feeling numb, disconnected, or hopeless, and having trouble finding joy in parenting or other aspects of life can be indicative of parental burnout. Social isolation is also a common experience for many mothers. Even when surrounded by family, some moms may feel extremely isolated and disconnected from their partners, childless friends, or their workplace.
It’s important to note that if you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, seeking support of any kind can significantly improve your ability to handle overwhelming emotions. Whether it’s reaching out to friends and family, seeking professional help, or joining support groups, there are resources available to help navigate these challenges. Don’t forget: you are not alone, emotional experiences as a mother are incredibly common, and it’s more than okay to ask for help when you need it.
Molly’s First Signs: Recognizing Being Overwhelmed
Our founder, Molly Bloom, began to recognize she was feeling overwhelmed as a mother when she began feeling constantly habitually exhausted and irritable soon after her daughter Fiona reached the toddler stage.
Even after a better night’s sleep, Molly felt drained and unable to cope with her daily responsibilities both at work and as a mother. At times, even with Fiona by her side, she felt isolated and often wondered what happened to her pre-motherhood support community. This realization was a turning point for Molly, prompting her to seek help and find ways to manage her overwhelming emotions.
Through self-reflection and observation, Molly identified several key factors contributing to her personal sense of overwhelm:
- Sleep deprivation from waking up to take care of the baby’s needs
- Unrealistic expectations, especially the idea of always being the “perfect mother”
- A sudden shift in her personal identity pre- and post-pregnancy
- Emotional volatility. In particular, Molly recognized that a certain amount of chaos inevitably arises when having a child and that it’s easy to get thrown out of homeostasis when learning how to care for a newborn.
As in Molly’s case, recognizing these signs and symptoms is the first step towards addressing challenging emotions in motherhood and seeking the support needed to navigate the challenges of motherhood more effectively, a lesson all mothers can learn from and implement into their own lives.
The Impact of Perfectionism and Societal Pressures
How perfectionism and societal pressures can exacerbate feelings of being overwhelmed
Feeling the pressure to be a perfect mother? You’re not alone. Research shows that 9 out of 10 women often feel judged as mothers and 8 out of 10 experience criticism from within their own families – the very people you’d expect to be perfect. These pressures have led to a culture of maternal perfectionism that takes a toll on many modern mothers’ mental well-being.
Society expects mothers to balance everything flawlessly and without complaint, meaning they’re often expected to excel in their careers, look after their appearance, and always be happy. However, these unrealistic expectations can lead to mothers suffering from exhaustion and mental health issues as they chase an impossible standard no one, even the most disciplined person, is capable of meeting.
This has compounding effects; the pressure to conform and be a “perfect” mother also makes it hard for moms to seek support, as they’re afraid of being seen as incapable or insufficient. Social media only adds to this by portraying an idealized version of motherhood, which, of course, is highly curated and far from mominfluencers’ true day-to-day reality.
This constant quest for the “perfect” parenting approach is emotionally draining and makes it even more difficult for moms to trust their own parenting choices. With this in mind, try to remember that it’s beautiful to be perfectly imperfect, even in the context of motherhood.
Molly’s experience with striving for perfection and how it affected her.
Molly, just like so many other moms out there, found herself stuck in the cycle of trying to be the “perfect mom.” This led to her feeling inadequate and even guilty at times. The pressure to meet these societal “supermom” expectations had a noticeable impact on her mental well-being, leaving her tired from juggling her role as a mother, her career, self-care, and social life. She often found herself second-guessing every parenting decision, from sleep routines to food choices, and this relentless pursuit of the “right” choice left her feeling drained and unsure of her own instincts.
Amid this struggle, Molly came to the realization that striving for perfection was not only unrealistic but also harmful to her well-being and her relationship with Fiona. She began to understand that the constant need for perfection often comes from a lack of self-worth. Taking a kinder approach with herself, just as she would with others going through the same experience, was a breakthrough in providing relief to this overwhelming pressure she felt.
Strategies for Managing and Reducing Being Overwhelmed
Practical strategies for managing and reducing feelings of overload
Now that you’ve gotten a better understanding of the sources of overwhelming feelings, it’s time to give you the tools to navigate intense emotions in motherhood better. Here are some practical strategies you can implement that can help you relax and feel more confident in your parenting choices.
Here are some helpful tips for busy moms to manage their time effectively:
1. Create a Schedule: Plan out your day, week, or month to make sure you have time for everything that’s important to you, like family time, work, exercise, and self-care. You can also use block scheduling, which is where you group similar tasks together to work more efficiently and help your brain function at its best.
2. Prioritize Tasks: Focus on the most important tasks first to prevent feeling overwhelmed by doing too many things at once.
3. Write Everything Down: Keep track of all the details by writing them down so you can stay organized and avoid confusion.
4. Use Time-Saving Techniques: Find ways to use your time more efficiently, like listening to audiobooks while waiting or using helpful applications to set reminders and automate recurring tasks.
5. Delegate Tasks: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends to lighten the load.
6. Practice the “Clean as You Go” Method: This can save you time on cleaning and help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by a messy house – a phenomenon that’s especially easy to fall into with children running around.
7. Make a Self-Care Routine: By making the time to recharge, you can find the internal peace needed to help you maintain sanity during hectic days.
By implementing strategies that intuitively feel right, Molly believes mothers will better manage their time, reduce feelings of overload, and find more joy in their role as mothers. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, try out one of the strategies outlined above – it could bring you the extra relief you’ve been looking for.
Conclusion
Just a gentle reminder: it’s okay to feel overwhelmed as a mom. It’s a tough job, and there’s no such thing as being perfect at it. Remember to be kind to yourself and take little steps to take care of your well-being. If you ever feel like you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to your support system. Molly’s journey has shown that with the right mindset and tools, it’s possible to manage the challenges of motherhood more effectively and find balance and joy along the way.
References
[1] – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/breaking-free-from-overwhelm-strategies-working-mothers-alice-chepeau
[2] – https://dfwchild.com/mommy-burnout-part-1-why-are-moms-so-overwhelmed/
[3] – https://www.theappreciation.com/overwhelmed-mom/
[4] – https://www.charliehealth.com/post/mom-burnout
[5] – https://www.parentonboard.com/how-to-spot-the-signs-of-mom-burnout-and-what-to-do-about-it/
[6] – https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4245921-Overwhelmed-with-motherhood
[7] – https://medium.com/modern-parent/why-you-seem-to-get-overwhelmed-with-motherhood-and-others-dont-79e3cca6f57
[8] – https://www.amymarshall.ca/post/understanding-overwhelm-why-moms-feel-overloaded-in-motherhood
[9] – https://english.elpais.com/society/2023-07-09/expectations-guilt-and-social-pressure-in-motherhood-9-out-of-10-women-feel-judged.html
[10] – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7008558/
[11] – https://momwell.com/blog/managing-perfectionism-in-motherhood
[12] – https://geniusmomhacks.com/time-management-strategies-for-mom/
[13] – https://www.ginampoirier.com/time-management-guide-moms/
[14] – https://safeintheseat.com/tips-for-overwhelmed-moms/
[15] – https://womensmeditationnetwork.com/self-care-tips-for-overwhelmed-moms/
[16] – https://alliworthington.com/help-overwhelmed-new-mom/